everytime i look thru my chocolate box, i have a vague sense of loss. feel sad that i've lost so much energy... lost some youth... and above all, i've become so disillusioned. i scare myself with my own thoughts sometimes. my tirades against cynicism don't seem to have protected me at all... it's like how ironic. i've been so aware of the dangers of cynicism, the consequences of disillusionment and i've fallen into the exact trap that i've told myself not to fall into, without even realizing it (until recently i should think). now that i'm in it... it's so difficult to get out. but with so many things weighting me down, how can i garner enough energy to lift myself out?
ok la i do admit i'm prob at an emotional low now. can't help it so many things blasting like cannons at me. really surprised myself when i woke up this morning. didn't even realize how stressed i was until it manifested physically again. bah i don't really know how to judge how stressed i am... lolz i just conclude whenever there's some physical sign like a headache, it means i'm stressed.
sad how events and memories of last night have faded so fast. really wish i brought a camera. feel so drained. praying for tonight.
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
everytime i look thru my chocolate box, i have a vague sense of loss. feel sad that i've lost so much energy... lost some youth... and above all, i've become so disillusioned. i scare myself with my own thoughts sometimes. my tirades against cynicism don't seem to have protected me at all... it's like how ironic. i've been so aware of the dangers of cynicism, the consequences of disillusionment and i've fallen into the exact trap that i've told myself not to fall into, without even realizing it (until recently i should think). now that i'm in it... it's so difficult to get out. but with so many things weighting me down, how can i garner enough energy to lift myself out?
ok la i do admit i'm prob at an emotional low now. can't help it so many things blasting like cannons at me. really surprised myself when i woke up this morning. didn't even realize how stressed i was until it manifested physically again. bah i don't really know how to judge how stressed i am... lolz i just conclude whenever there's some physical sign like a headache, it means i'm stressed.
sad how events and memories of last night have faded so fast. really wish i brought a camera. feel so drained. praying for tonight.